


Pop Culture Novice

by Icarus_Solaire



Series: Pop Culture Life Coach, Nico [1]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Bonding, Bonding over family movies, Don't @ me disney, Family Feels, Friendship, Gen, Life Coach Nico, Literally an idea I thought up in the shower, No Ship, Pop Culture, Wholesome Fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 02:29:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18769339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icarus_Solaire/pseuds/Icarus_Solaire
Summary: Dante and Nero leave Nico alone with the barely reformed Vergil and she’s not too keen on having to babysit the brooding half demon. After all, what do you do when you babysit a brooding half-demon anyhow? Nico has no idea but she knows one thing; the Ice Queen has some catching up to do on pop culture and she’s just the one to help fix that.A story in which Vergil and Nico end up doing the unthinkable while left alone for a few hours. Will they break something? Will Vergil go on a hunt for power or will they end up wasting nearly two hours doing something much more…wholesome?





	Pop Culture Novice

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys like this. Honestly I thought it up in the shower, had a giggle, and then I suffered. I went and did 'research' for this fic for a solid 2 hours. -lays down-

It was hot as all hell out, and that was sayin’ something from a southern woman. July made it a habit to try it’s damnedest to match the depths of hell for temperature. If that wasn’t enough to make the weaponsmith cranky she only had to glance up in the rearview mirror. There she’d see Vergil.

 

The very same brooding asshole who’d destroyed half of Red Grave city not even 6 months ago; sitting in the back of her van. Brooding. Again. It was like he was trying to make a sport of it at this point.

 

This sulk-a-thon in particular was because Dante and Nero had left him behind, saying he was a little too destructive and cared a little too little about humans to handle such a delicate job. The irony wasn’t at all lost on Nico with  _ that  _ one. 

 

Dante and Nero might as well be demolitions experts for how damn careful THEY were about their surroundings during a job.

 

To be fair, she mused while chewing on the end of a cigarette, Nero was a little more careful than Dante. Only a little. It was miracle they EVER turned a profit with all the property damage, but sure, Vergil had to stay. With her. Alone.

 

Nico just had to be the one to babysit the tantrummy elder Sparda brother. The elder demon who just sat staring a hole in the wall of the van while polishing his sword. Did he think that Dante was just going to materialize in that spot and he’d need to make sure the Yamato was nice and clean for when he shoved it through his 5 th and 4 th rib? It’s not like the damn thing needed it, but she could respect a man who at least knew how to take care of a work of art like that sword.

 

Didn’t mean she was any less annoyed by his brooding presence in the back of  _ her _ van.

 

“You keep that up, someone is gonna think you’re compensating.” Nico flicked her cigarette butt out the window, turning in the driver's seat to look back at Vergil.

 

Vergil doesn’t stop his actions, nor does he turn to look her direction. The only thing to give the demon away that he heard her words was the slowing of his strokes down the katana.

 

“Now you’re just bordering on sexual. Should I give you two some space? Let you be alone?” Talking always helped Nico’s restlessness. At least a little bit. “Get you two love birds some snacks and condoms?”

 

This time pale blue eyes turned her direction and boy, if looks could kill, she’d have dropped dead right there. Good thing for her, demon things don’t scare her. Not even her best buddy’s emo Daddy. She probably should have been scared but, these days, Vergil was practically declawed.

 

Declawed but still the prizewinner at sullen glares.

 

She rolled her eyes, walking toward the back of the van. “Calm down, Elsa. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”

 

Much to her surprise, that makes him halt his actions all together. This time he turns her direction, and not just to glare. “Who is this ‘Elsa’ and why does everyone insist on calling me that?”

 

Nico stopped in her tracks. She had to stifle a laugh behind a fake cough into her fist, at the ridiculousness of the question. Never in her life had she seen a grown ass man ask someone who  **Elsa** was with such a straight damn face.

 

“Yknow; moody and broody ice princess?” The blank look on his face, and the grip on the Yamato as if he were waiting for her response made her roll her eyes and adjust her glasses. Right, he’s been like not-dead for something like 20 years. “Loosen your jockstrap, Hannibal, it’s a movie.”

 

Nico put another smoke between her lips, patting down her sides in search for a lighter. She watched how he relaxed even if his eyes remained narrowed and focused on her.

 

“What kind of film is this?” That was more of a question than she expected. Honestly, she expected Vergil would just scowl and leave it be, maybe go back to dutifully polishing his sword.

 

Giving up, momentarily, on lighting her cig, Nico pinched it between her fingers. “I guess it’s like…a family movie or something.” She cocked her hip, waving a hand through the air. When she looked up however, Nico found herself stunned and cleared her throat to reorient herself as she noticed the damn near CUTE expression that crossed his face. He wasn’t even TRYING to hide his curiosity at hearing it was a  _ family movie _ and damn if he didn’t look a little like Nero like that.

 

Guess that couldn’t be helped, seeing as he was Nero’s homicidal daddy and all.

 

How the hell did she even begin to explain a Disney movie to a pop culture illiterate, half demon whose pop culture icons probably died off back when Mr. Darcy was a heartthrob? Rubbing her temple, Nico checked the time on the radio.

 

Guessing she had a couple of hours to kill, Nico moved to dig in a trunk she kept under the counter of her work station.

 

Two steely blue eyes followed her movements, and while she didn’t look for confirmation; she could feel them. She could also feel the unasked question that hung in the air just above her head.

 

“We got some time to kill and for all I know, you keep staring at my wall it’s gonna burst into flames or something” Nico stood up, holding a movie case in her hand. 

 

Vergil saw the words in the white ribbon at the top of the case ‘Collectors Edition’ and when his eyes looked lower he saw large bold letters ‘Frozen’. He thought to ask a question but stopped as he watched the brunette.

 

The weaponsmith hopped over the counter, forgoing her usual exit. It took only two strides before she was standing in front of Vergil and, in that moment, pride outweighed any logical apprehension she most likely should have had. She was standing in front of the very guy who’d took out half of Red Grave’s population because he didn’t think his mommy loved him enough.

 

“You say one word about this to Nero and I don’t care if I ain’t a demon, I’ll kill you with my bare hands.”

 

Vergil scoffed at the threat, but he sheathed the sword. “You can’t seriously think I will watch that.”

 

Nico slid the DVD in and smacked the side of her DVD player. All the tumbles and jostles had really done a number on the thing. It was held together by duct tape and a dream at this point. Surprisingly, though, it still played.

 

“Oh, you’re gonna watch it,  _ Elsa.” _ She flopped down on the couch next to him, propping her feet up on the table. If Nico saw the ever-present scowl the demon cast her way, she chose to ignore it. “Don’t be such a damn stick in the mud. You want people to stop calling you Elsa, then you need to work to get some material to throw right back at ‘em.”

 

Remembering her cigarette, Nico put it back between her lips. “Don’t think reciting poetry at ‘em like some damn theater kid is gonna be much of a sick burn.” The brunette said around the thin tube of tobacco.

Vergil watched the thin tube bob in her mouth as she spoke and watched on further as she started feeling around for her lighter again. He saw an expression flash across her face, no doubt remembering she couldn’t find it.

 

Her eyes darted to her workstation, the dim light of the van glinting off the offensive lighter causing her to mutter an “aww hell….”

 

A brief sign passed his lips. “I suppose it would not hurt to see this Elsa you speak of.” The eldest Sparda-son finally spoke, catching the weaponsmith off guard by summoning a lighter from practically nowhere before lighting the end of her cigarette.

 

Even if she looked past the fact that Vergil had actually bothered to light her cigarette, she raised a brow when he didn’t even grimace at her first outward puff of smoke. No swat of the hand, no disgusted face.

 

“ _ Curious.” _ Nico mocked him, looking over the man whose eyes were focused on the television. His lips did curve down, if for a second, at that.

 

His sideways glance asked the question he did not, and she laughed, taking another drag of her cigarette. “Figured you’d be prissy like Nero about the smoke.” Nico blew out the second puff of smoke slowly, mirroring his decision to look solely at the television leaning into the couch for comfort.

 

Vergil made a sound of indignation, setting the Yamato down at his side. His sword was set aside but the demon did not relax his upright posture anymore than it already was. “That smoke is nothing.” Came the stiff response

 

_ Nothing compared to the fires of hell and the smell of your own flesh burning _

 

Nico definitely didn’t need him to say the words, she could feel the implication of his unfinished sentence. The best she could do in response was shrug nonchalantly and put her cigarette out in the ashtray next to the couch. “Fair ‘nough”  

 

_ But you’re sure as hell prissy about everything else. _

 

As the trailers end and movie finally starts, the two fall silent for the first few moment. If the intro moves Vergil at all, it’s not outwardly obvious to the weaponsmith.

 

He doesn’t have much an opinion in the beginning as watches the two children play, the young witch using her magic for building snowmen and fun. They almost remind him of Dante. The devil hunter was very much the type to use his skills for ridiculous, irresponsible reasons. Vergil was certain he could remember his younger brother using his devil trigger once in just these past few months, to prevent his pizza from falling over the side of a bridge.

It was enough to make the demon scoff and roll his eyes. Not nearly as much as the events that followed, however. The humans took their ordinary daughter to a group of rock demons they called  _ trolls _ in order to save her life. What followed had him looking forward quite unimpressed.

 

“Nicoletta” His voice was soft, and flat. “So, you’re telling me they have a witch for a daughter who has the power to command ice from nothing and, yet, they force her to keep it a secret? To try to suppress it in favor of their ordinary child? Foolishness” Vergil frowns.

 

“Just watch the damn movie, peanut gallery.” Nico groaned, crossing her legs.

 

“….and now they’re singing.” Vergil supplied, his voice as deadpan as usual.

 

Nico sighed, waving a hand in the direction of the television. “It’s wholesome. It’s about wanting to bond with family.”

 

Pale blue eyes regarded her with an incredulous, sideways glance. “It is about building a snowman.”

 

“Yeh cuz not everyone bonds with family by trying to turn ‘em into a damn kabob.” She tossed him an accusatory look.

 

Another scowl tugged at Vergil’s lips, and he pinched them into a thin line. “It builds character….” Mutters the demon.  There was a moment of silence and he spoke again, a hand gracefully motioning toward the television. “Did the trolls not think that making the girl afraid of her powers would just make her fear  _ more _ .”

 

“SHHH watch the movie.” Nico hissed. Silence fell between them again, her leg bouncing with restlessness, and Vergil sitting next to her like he was awaiting military role call or something with how straight he sat. That straight, erect posture made the next thing he said all the more unexpected.

 

“I did not know Dante was in this film.” He motions towards the young man with fair hair, who probably resembled a crazy person if he weren’t in a Disney movie, talking for his own reindeer.

 

Nico damn near choked on her own tongue. Holy shit. Had he actually told a joke?! Where the hell had that come from? She was too damn surprised to laugh and instead hacked up a cough, reaching for her pack of cigarettes as Anna came on screen once more. Anna was awkwardly trying to speak to a sister she barely knew these days, but gods be damned she was trying. Thankfully it was adorable enough to distract her from whatever the hell THAT had just been so she didn’t nearly choke again.

 

Bless Anna, she had always reminded her a little bit of Kyrie; a bit awkward but pure hearted and charming. A little too naïve sometimes, too.

That whole exchange though…well it reminded her all together of someone else. Two someones to be exact. Okay, nothing vague about it, that exchange with Anna and Elsa was a bit like Nero and Vergil, just add a little more sass, dash of bloodshed, and some murderous intent. Still just as awkward, though. That was for damn sure.

 

Next to her, however; Vergil started to look uncomfortable at the talk of close siblings who grew apart, separated since childhood. Maybe that hit a little closer to home than he was willing to admit. Definitely too close to home than was allowed for some animated movie to hit.

 

Nico doesn’t comment, thinking better of it. Instead she let’s them sit in silence, letting the taunt die on her lips. Maybe she’d spare him just this once. Even if he grimaces at the next song between Anna and Hans. The demon gets one free pass, she figured.

 

He’s relaxed into the couch by time the Elsa’s song plays, not even commenting on it, instead his fingers start to tap the back of his hand in time with the music. Steely blue eyes fixed on the small, fuzzy screen.

 

‘Huh, even demons aren’t immune to the destructive powers of Let it Go. Well I’ll be damned.’ Nico glances over and snorts to herself, grabbing another cigarette from her pack she’d finally fished from between the cushions of the couch.

 

She isn’t expecting it when Vergil speaks again, almost smugly.

 

“This is proof it is better if you embrace your power.” He nods softly, legs crossing, and fingers knitted together atop his lap. By looking at him you wouldn’t guess the weaponsmith convinced him to watch an animated Disney movie musical. It was like he was watching something cultured and refined.

 

If someone were looking on in, Nico was sure they’d think she had him watching Phantom of the Opera or something. He had the look of a guy you expected to start giving you opinions on the body of wine, not watching some dramatic woman making ice castles and singing about self-empowerment in a Disney musical.

 

“Yeh, well, embracin’ maybe, but she’s got the common sense to not want MORE of it.” Nico causes him to flinch away for a moment as she digs in his pocket where he’d tuck away the lighter from earlier. The flinch didn’t even phase her and she lit the tip of her cigarette with an edge of smugness.

 

He didn’t respond to that, and if he disagreed with her he definitely didn’t show it. Maybe the brief amount of personal space invasion had stumped him. He didn’t say another word until one of Nico’s favorite of good boys came on screen.

 

“A talking snowman…correction, a singing snowman.” Vergil doesn’t even scowl this time, instead he looks somewhat exasperated.

 

Nico snorts again. “You say this like your son didn’t regrow a whole damn arm after you ripped it clear off.“ She takes a drag of her cigarette, blowing the smoke in his direction “An’ you decided to bring your humonsona and demonsona to life by jabbin’ yourself through the chest. Talkin’ snowman seems small change to me.”

 

“That is…” He pauses, crossing his arms. “Fair.”

 

He grows quiet for a while after. Simply watching as things unfold between the siblings.

 

If he’s bothered with how comfortable Nico makes herself next to him, he does not say. If he had any problem with her nearly going through a half a pack of cigarettes, either he didn’t even shy away from her or swat at the smoke.

 

If you asked Nico, he damn near look transfixed by the movie. Never in her whole damn life would she have thought she’d be sitting next to Dante’s half demon brother watching a damn Disney movie about talking snowmen and the power of familial love. Damn, it ALMOST made it worth ratting herself out to Nero and Dante. Almost.

 

The next person to speak is actually Nico, grinning as the trolls sing about Kristoff being a fixer upper. “Sounds a lil bit like you and Kristoff got a few things in common.” She blew out a cloud of smoke with a smug grin.

 

“Excuse me?” He asks, offended. His eyes cast sideways at her once again, accusatory.

 

Putting out her cigarette, Nico’s lips curled in an even broader smug smirk. “Just, yknow, you’re not all bad for a homicidal, power hungry, half demon with social issues. Maybe you’re even a lil charming.”

 

He makes something of a chuckle at that remark, or was it a scoff? She wasn’t sure.

 

Even the half demon himself wasn’t sure. Vergil recognized that maybe he should be offended, perhaps he should even be angry but he was, decidedly, not at all.

 

With that, both fall silent again, intently watching the next few scenes unfold. Nico is comfortably watching the events the demon next to her, however, seems nearly ready to roll his eyes at the cliché of Anna returning to Hans.

 

If you put aside the idea that such an idea was naïve and immature; an enchantment  _ that  _ strong surely couldn’t be beaten by something as simple as a  _ kiss. _ Enchantments and spells did NOT work that way. His thought of the occult and immersion was cut suddenly short, however; and he tenses, his eyes narrowing at the next line he catches just before Anna collapses.

 

_ “If only there was someone out there who loved you.” _

 

The words seem to wretch free a memory or emotion that is too strong for Vergil to mask the anger and pain that flit across his sharp features. His fist clenches against his thigh and his brows pinch.

 

Nico has to catch herself because she damn near feels sorry for the guy, the look on his face more than a little recognizable.

 

Before she could say something, the moment passes, and Vergil once again relaxes as if he’d won some sort of mental battle in his head. Still, Nico did notice each time Han’s face graced the screen for the rest of the movie, his eyes would narrow into an icy glare.

 

It had come and gone so fast, those flashes of emotions, that Nico had almost thought she was imagining it. That was until a similar contemplative look crossed his face as Anna lamented her lack of knowing what love or true love really was.

 

Something had twisted inside of him, that much was obvious from a sideways glance that Nico tossed him. It’s was as if he was thinking about something, something that was said not that long ago…

 

_ “I just wanted to be protected and loved.” _

 

The abomination of a snow man is on screen in that moment, softly speaking to the young woman.  _ “Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours.” _

 

Whatever Vergil is thinking about, it leaves him shifting awkwardly and adjusting back to his same straight and stiff posture from the beginning of the movie.

 

Nico ponders, barely watching the movie now, if he’s thinking about Dante and Nero. Nah that couldn’t be it, so she pushed the thought aside as quickly as it came to mind.

 

In actuality, Vergil  _ was _ thinking something similar. He was so lost in his thought and consideration, he didn’t even bother to scoff at the girl assuming her savior would be to not kiss the first man she met but the SECOND man she had met.

 

When was the last time he had done something for someone else when it had not benefited him?

 

A memory flashed in his mind of a thin, wisp of a man with dark hair. No. Those actions did not actually count. Could they be considered selfless at all, either?

 

But then his mind drifted to Nero….The thought was cut short as Nico slapped his thigh, cursing at him to pay attention because the ‘best part’ was coming up.

 

Vergil frowned, watching the younger of the sisters jump in the way of a blow meant for her sibling. The woman froze solid, seemingly dead before the ice queen. Silvery brows knitted. What foolishness, jumping in between a blade and the one who cursed her to die.

 

Just as that thought crossed his mind, he saw her begin to thaw. Slowly the ice enchantment faded, revealing a living and breathing princess who could fall into the arms of her sister.

 

_ “An act of true love!” _

 

Exclaimed the blasted Olaf in his obnoxiously nasally voice. The snowman exclaimed, and Nico jabbed him in the side, this time hard enough to make him reach for the Yamato.

 

“See there” She grinned, “sometimes some good old siblin’ love ain’t so bad.”

 

“Preposterous. It’s a child’s movie.” He looked away, still watching out of the corner of his eye. The love of her sibling broke the enchantment of a sorceress that even skilled sages could not break. Perhaps Nico wasn’t entirely wrong about familial….No absolutely not. Dante loved pizza and grating at his last nerve.

 

“Yeh, well it’s a kid’s movie that got your weeb ass invested.” Nico muttered around another cigarette.

 

His annoyance at the thought of Dante and of that blasted Olaf melted a bit when he saw the younger princess give the bastard Han’s his comeuppance, knocking him overboard with a swift punch.

 

“HELL YEAH, THAT’S MY GIRL!” Exclaimed Nico, and he gave a soft nod in agreement, catching her cigarette before it could fall in her lap.

 

He gaped slightly as she didn’t bother even taking the cigarette back, instead reaching into her pack to pop in another before speaking. Vergil cast the the stump of a cigarette into the ashtray.   
  
“That’s fuckin’ right. Knocked that lil bitch right on overboard.” Nico scoffed, lighting her final cig before tossing the lighter back on Vergil’s lap.

 

The final moments of the movie were mostly uneventful, save for Nico catching his fingers drumming over the Yamato’s sheath in time with the credits song. He didn’t say much about the movie and she didn’t bother asking him what he thought. She knew his type, hell she knew Nero and to a degree that was enough.

 

“Well there you go.” She stood from the couch, gave a long stretch, and walked over to the tv. “Now you know that they’re basically calling you a moody, frigged lil bitch every time they call you Elsa.” She chuckled, leaning against the TV

 

“Charming.” He said with a sigh, nearly rolling his eyes. His fingers were still tapping in time with the music. “Are we done?” The demon asked, starting to stand.

 

“Whoa whoa whoa tiger! Sit your ass back down, it ain’t over yet.” She waved a hand at him.

 

Silver brows knitted in confusion. “Credits do mark the end of a film do they not?”

 

She gave him the most deadpan expression. “You really been gone a long-time old man, these days they put shit all in the credits and after! You usually miss the best part if you stop right when they start rollin’”

 

Vergil sighed, but he sat back down, idly watching as Nico seemed to dig through a few boxes that sat between the TV and her workstation. He very nearly missed it when the music stopped, and the large snowman showed up once again on the screen. The massive, lumbering monster eyeing a golden trinket on the ground.

 

Nico practically scrambled to catch the scene and as they both watched the creature happily place the tiara on its head that was it. The southern girl burst out laughing, slapping her thigh and her whooping laughter was just nearly enough to hide his own amusement.

 

It shouldn’t have been THAT funny. It was a foolish child’s movie, it was hardly intelligent humor and yet here he was. Vergil, son of the demon Sparda and brief king of hell, had his hand covering his eyes and his shoulders shook with laughter.

 

The weaponsmith wasn’t the type to cut her own laughter short, the tears in her eyes still hanging at the corners as she turned her gaze to look on at the sight before her. She couldn’t fucking believe it. He was ACTUALLY laughing. Hell, she didn’t think she could ever remember even HEARING about Vergil laughing. And it wasn’t just some little pussy chuckle, nah his whole body shook with the intensity of it. Well, intensity for a Vergil laugh anyway.

 

“Well I’ll be damned. Ice cold Vergil actually liked a kids movie.” She grinned. “That’s damn near worth ratting my own self out for likin’ Frozen.”

 

It took awhile for the laughter to subside, and even longer for Nico to actually leave the half demon be. Well, leave him be was a generous statement. Quietly let him read the filth she’d practically forced on him. Said filth being her most treasured series of comics.

 

When the devil hunters returned, covered in filth and gore, the sight they found caused them to pause at the door. Nero running right into Dante’s back as the elder hunter froze.

 

“What the hell, Dante!?” he cursed, punching his uncle’s shoulder.

 

He shoved him aside, freezing just as he did so.

Nico was sitting thigh to thigh on the couch next to Vergil, tinkering with some new invention of hers. The real surprising part being just how relaxed and comfortable his  _ father _ looked. He had his legs crossed, Yamato propped by his side and in his lap rested a comic book with a man dressed in red and black on the cover, wielding dual katanas.

 

Both hunters expected to come back to Vergil glaring like a grounded child, holding Yamato with a glint in his eyes that just begged either of them to speak. Okay, maybe that was a bit exaggerated, but they’d expected something close. Instead what they found was…. well THIS.

 

“I must’ve fallen into the twilight zone, is Vergil reading comics and not ‘William Blake weekly’?” He snatched the book right out of Vergil’s hand and immediately regretted it, the hilt of the Yamato jamming into a still fresh wound, knocking the comic out of Dante’s grasp and back into Vergil’s hands.

 

“Didn’t mother ever teach you it’s not nice to steal” he said, flipping the page nonchalantly. “Olaf.”

 

Be it Nero’s expression at that or the way Dante struggled to catch a breath or even just the skillful and blunt delivery of the words, Nico really didn’t care. There was something about the exchange that had her howling with laughter for the second time today.

 

“Goddamn, Vergil. Baby steps my dude.” She snickered, watching Nero roll his eyes and stomp toward the bathroom. Beside her, the half demon flipped another page, a light smile of satisfaction tugging at his lips.

 

“Did he just call me…Olaf?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so now you've read that. You may even be thinking you wasted a good 10 pages of your life. You're probably right. Sorry about that but, yknow....what movie should they watch next?
> 
> Have mercy cuz if they're watching it so am I.....


End file.
